I Added to Tracy and Stacey's Blog on Why People are Gross

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

My not-so-boring aunt Stacey (she thinks she is boring) is repulsed by most people. "Why?" you might ask yourself. Well, because people are gross. I have always felt the same way and these feelings tend to magnify every time I go out in public. It doesn't matter where I go... people are just gross and do gross things. Well, Stacey felt so strongly as to go the extra mile and create a list...

Why I Think People are Gross

Okay, okay, here is a blog for ya all.

You all know how I think the human race is gross - we have discussed it many times. Well, I thought it would be a good idea to compile some of the top and most disgusting things that I have observed about humanity. Most of my material comes from trips to WalMart and sometimes just out in public - church, schools, amusement parks, playgrounds - anywhere that people gather.

These are all in just random order - AND please feel free to add your two cents worth because I know that there are many, many other gross things that I cannot think of right now.

Okay - here you go. Don't blame me if you feel sick after reading this, blame the public!

1. Bad Breath - need I say more?
2. Bad Teeth - (from smoking, coffee, coke, not brushing...Dan, you have job security)
3. The smell of hair
4. The smell of BO - especially when it lingers in a grocery aisle from the old man that left it - who is now 3 aisles over.
5. Greasy skin
6. Hearing people cough - especially productive coughs. (gag)
7. Hearing people blow their noses and actually hearing the release of the snot during the blow - you know what I mean? Even grosser - when they look at it! (double gag)
8. People with bandages over open wounds waiting in line at the pharmacy (Leslie and I have already discussed this extensively.)
9. Dirty fingernails
10. Watching someone pick their teeth with a toothpick as they are walking out of a restaurant, then looking at it and then (gag) putting it back in their mouth to eat it. (Excuse me while I clean up the vomit on my keyboard)
11. Hearing someone blow their nose in a restaurant. Excuse me, but we are trying to eat here!
12. Thick yellow toenails and dry, cracking heels.
13. Scaly, purple ankles and calves on extremely overweight people - why is that? Steve, can you answer that one for me? Please - just wear long pants!
14. Whiteheads (especially on the sides of the nose)
15. Bad Breath - needs to be mentioned a few times
16. Ear hair
17. Nose hair coming out of nose
18. Gray nose hair coming out of nose
19. Big moles on the face (Really, you think the scar would look any worse, come on...)
20. Mustard anywhere near someone's mouth (That's for you Tracy)
21. Food stains on people's fingers
22. Food in someone's teeth
23. Seeing food fingerprint stains in books that I have checked out from the library. (Note to myself - keep a bottle of Purell near my nightstand)
24. Walking through someone's fart. (triple gag) What is floating in the air with that?
25. The sights, the sounds, the smells of public bathrooms says it all. Oh yeah, and the general wetness in there - around the toilets and sinks...
26. Hearing people go to the bathroom and then leaving without washing hands. (Time to take a bath in Purell)
27. Crumbs and food stains in people's cars. Apologizing for the mess does not make it any easier to sit down on the seat - and what is this stain on the seatbelt going across my chest?
28. Tank tops on men with hairy armpits with dripping sweat.
29. Tank tops on women with old lady skin - snake like and wrinkly. But if they have a tan - it's worse.
30. Watching people eat and sometimes watching food fly out of someone's mouth while they are talking.
31. Lipstick on straws.
32. Lipstick on teeth.
33. Lipstick on clothes you want to try on.
34. Crusty... anything. An adjective that should not have to be used to describe anything on a human. My dog can have crusty anything and I will still love him - he can't help it.
35. Bad Breath - can't say it enough. (I have to hate if I smell...)
36. Floating clouds (boogers) in the nose.
37. Food in mustaches - especially when lunch was like 3 hours ago.
38. Seeing someone pick their nose. (Why do people think they are invisible when they do this activity in their car?)

Okay, so Dan and I decided to add a few to the list...

39. Saliva strands between someone's lips as they talk
40. Eye boogers (on winston it's okay...on people it's just gross)
41. man boobs
42. Really long gray hair
43. Walking out of a restaurant (tooth pick in the mouth) and someone doing a hiccup/burp as they rub their overly full belly.
44. Girls (like the ones on The Bachelor) who look like they reek of excessive amounts of cheap perfume along with layers of stale, stinky face make-up while sporting day-after alcohol breath.
45. Perms
46. wet jerry curl
47. men + gold chains
48. men + hair creeping out over their shirt collars.
49. men.
50. COUGHING IN MOVIE THEATERS. IF YOU HAVE A COUGH, DO NOT GO TO THE MOVIES!! I don't want to hear, feel the vibrations of, or wipe off from my neck your disgusting COUGH!!

Please feel free to add to this list. Just think of all your Walmart experiences; this should bring at least 10 to mind.

Okay, now it is MY turn. I know, I know. I am only 10 almost 11 so you may do that embarassing thing where you squeeze your lips together and shake your head, looking sympathetically at the nearest adult around you... (cough cough CAITLIN. cough cough TRACY. cough cough MOM.)
51. the air burps. filling up your cheeks with burp, then releasing it by the blow of air.
52. at Walmart, people missing an arm, or leg
53. at WALMART people with eye patches
54. walking through wet air... 5 seconds after you hear a little boy sneeze
55. old men with damp grey tank tops and their nipples hanging out of the sides of the tank top
56. watching people wipe their nose with the back of their hand, seeing the little streak of whatever color it is, then10 minutes llater seeing it dried up and crusty
57. watching people eat with their mouth open
58. walking into a friend's room. and smelling dog and cat pee
59. seeing a huge stain, saying "Whats that?" and them saying back "dog pee"
59. at a friend's house smelling the kitty litter all the way in her room

NOW SOMEONE ADD TO MINE!!